


Happy Birthday, Madame President

by GoldStarGrl



Category: Veep
Genre: Angry Sex, Apologies, Biting, Cunnilingus, F/M, Office Sex, Spanking, Stripping, Verbal Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-09
Updated: 2015-07-09
Packaged: 2018-04-06 21:27:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4237245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoldStarGrl/pseuds/GoldStarGrl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Selina is up all night stopping a government shutdown the same day she’s turning forty-nine. Dan is a little slutty and a lot apologetic. What was he supposed to do, NOT seduce the leader of the free world?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Happy Birthday, Madame President

**Author's Note:**

  * For [onlytheshortones](https://archiveofourown.org/users/onlytheshortones/gifts), [rillrill](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rillrill/gifts).



> This is for the lovely Liz and Coco's birthdays. (They're responsible for this sin)

Selina hadn’t slept in twenty-seven hours, thirty four minutes, and twenty seconds.

She knew this because Gary kept leaning over her shoulder and murmuring a running count, as though that’s going to help.

The Oval Office was packed and increasingly stuffy. Amy and Dan were sitting opposite each other on the yellow couches, laptops out and phones jammed up to their right ears, seemingly unaware they were moving in sync. Ben was growling at someone in the corner, Sue sat in the outer office delegating spreadsheets to be collated and distributed, and Mike looked like he was about to cry, standing with his forehead pressed against the pale, striped wallpaper.

Selina leaned back in her chair, putting her feet up as some twelve-year-old congressman from bumfuck Iowa or Illinois droned on her cordless phone about he just can’t accept the new healthcare bill because of his religious beliefs.

“Well…well yes, I understand your concern.” She smiled, wide and fixed, even though he could’t see her. It was the only way she could keep her voice level, keep from screaming. “But in America, we have a beautiful system of separation of church and state-“

Suddenly Dan slammed his computer on the couch cushion beside him, jumped up, marched over and tore the phone out of her hand, that wild, borderline manic light in his face that made her wonder who even let the man out of the hospital.

“Listen you piece of shit, we’re not asking you to give backstreet abortions with old chopsticks. We’re asking you to say yes when a man holds up a piece of paper. Do you think you can do that? Because if you can’t, the fucking government is going to shut down and you're the one people will be coming at with hangers!”

“DAN!” Gary gasped, his hands clapped over his mouth. Amy ground her teeth and slammed her fingers down on her leg, letting the nails sink into her thigh. Selina felt herself fall sideways, elbows slipping off her desk. Gary bent over and seized her, pulling her back up.

“Oh fuck off.” She hissed, hushed. All eyes were on Dan, who was listening intently, holding one hand flat in front of him like a crossing guard halting traffic. Ten seconds passed like a millennium. 

And then he grinned, a big, smarmy kind of grin that made people want to punch him and kiss him at the same time. He turned his flat hand into a thumbs up. “Yes, well, thank you Senator. The president appreciates your support, and I know your country will too.”

He hung up, breathing a sigh of relief. “He’s on board. It’s fifty-one votes.”

“Holy shit we did it.” Ben whispered, incredulous. A buzz of excitement starting to run it’s way through the room, Mike peeling himself off the wall, Amy letting her arm go limp against the couch. It fell silent, though, and stiff, as Selina raised a tight fist.

“What the hell was that?” She asked Dan, raising her eyebrows. Dan’s smug smile dropped from his face. He audibly swallowed, leaning forward to put the phone back in its cradle and quickly pulling back.

“I…I’m so sorry ma’am, it’s just…we needed results and-“

“You work for me. When you act like a fucking psycho, people think _I’m_ fucking psycho.” She pulled her feet down and stood up behind her desk, feeling Gary shrink in fear. “Do you think that people _want a fucking psycho president_?” She felt her voice pitching upwards, bordering on shrill.

“Ma’am? Can I go tell the press?” Mike’s voice, Mike’s utter exhaustion broke through the tension. “That-that you stopped the shutdown, not…not what Dan did.” He sputtered out. Selina tore her eyes off Dan briefly, and gave a terse nod. 

"Yeah. Give them a reason to drink for once." She pinched the bridge of her nose and waved her other hand vaguely in the air. "All of you, get the hell out of my office.” 

There was a general clattering of moving, and pushing notebooks and computers into piles, which once again fell silent as she sharply lifted a hand. "Dan. Not you."

Dan was suddenly rooted to the spot, going white under his freckles. Amy and Gary both looked concerned, but neither he nor Selina made eye contact with anyone but each other.

"Ma'am, I would just like to remind you that it is currently 2:54 AM on May 14th, which means you haven't slept in-"

"Jesus fuck Gary, I get it." She snapped, and Amy, somehow managing to roll her eyes and glare at the same time, dragged him out by his sleeve. The door barely made a thump when it shut, clicking back into the wall, but Dan flinched like someone had shot off a cannon next to his head. Selina, without taking her eyes off him, leaned across her desk and pressed the intercom button on her phone.

"Sue. Don't let anyone in here for the next couple minutes."

_"Yes Ma'am."_

She leaned back slowly in her chair, a power move she had learned from her father and that she didn't get to use near enough. And now she was too tired to enjoy it. Fuck the government and fuck Dan.

Dan, who was standing with his fingers laced together in a clenched, awkward tangle, probably to keep himself from openly wringing them. For someone who claimed to have hot Italian blood, he was incredibly pale.

"Oh Dan." She sighed, rubbing her temples with dry nails. Christ, Gary needed to give her a manicure. "Danny Danny Danny. What are we gonna do with you?”

“I…I apologize, I’m just so tired, and that stupid Chinese food they ordered down in the outer offices had MSG in it and I had to take an allergy pill and…” he rubbed his face, make a helpless, high sort of groan. “I shouldn’t complain, especially not to you.”

She nodded once. “Damn fucking right.”

“Especially on your birthday, and all this shit is already happening.”

“…yeah.” Her birthday. Shit, she’d forgotten it was her birthday. But Gary had just said so - May 14th. Jesus Christ, she was forty-nine years old. “How the fuck-“

“You’re the president, a lot of people know your birthday.” Dan smirked, then ducked his head, going right back to being contrite. “…Ma’am. So, um…let-let me just say...h-happy birthday."

Selina scoffed, annoyed again. “Why? You gonna fucking Marilyn Monroe me?"

It had been a joke. A throw away comment before she got back to berating him. He was supposed to bite his lip, slightly embarrassed, and say “No Ma’am.”

But instead, there was a pause, just a second too long. 

Selina looked up again and Dan had taken a step forward, his fingers fidgeting with his jacket buttons.

“ _Happy birthday…to you_.” His singing voice wasn't the best, a little hoarse and flat, but he managed to make up for it with the weight in the words, each one heavy and slow and dripping with…something. He shed his coat and held it bundled in his hands, looking a little scared and a little flushed, color coming back into his skin.

Selina leaned back, considering this. She was exhausted, so far past a headache her whole brain felt like a giant blob of white noise. She was cranky and forty-fucking-nine and here was a gorgeous, _gorgeous_ man trying literally anything to stay in her good graces.

She was the president after all. And just like Amy said, the president got to fuck whoever they wanted. 

So she crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow. "Aren't you gonna finish?"

Relief seemed to wash over Dan's eyes, relief that he wasn’t going to be dragged from the building by Secret Service agents, and was quickly replaced by a little something more excited. He dropped his jacket on the ground and began pulling off his belt, unbuttoning his slacks.

" _Happy birthday, to you_."

He kicked his shoes and socks to to floor, advancing towards her in black boxer briefs that were sinfully tight and probably expensive as all hell, and they made his tan thighs look muscled and full and-

_"Happy birthday_..." He tugged off his tie and undid the first three buttons of his white dress shirt, letting it hang loose and untucked over his flat stomach. "... _Madame President_."

She felt herself swallow involuntarily as his hands reached her shoulders, resting lightly on the thin red fabric of her dress. He pushed his legs against the arm rests of the chair, straddling her, lifting the bulk of his weight onto her lap. He pressed his forehead against hers as he whispered against her mouth, “ _Happy birthday...to you_." 

And then he was kissing her, his thumbs stroking the sides of her face while he shifted back and forth on her lap, the pressure starting to make her thighs go numb. After a moment she realized he was trying to wriggle out of his underwear without using his hands. A valiant effort, but it enraged her nonetheless. Why did men - especially this man - always think they were in charge?

She jerked her face away and quickly, sharply, smacked his ass. Dan winced on contact, more stung and surprised than actually hurt. There was confusion in his darkened eyes.

“Look at you, acting like some red-light prostitute.” She murmured, almost chuckling, gently rubbing the spot she had just spanked with the tips of her fingers. Dan opened his mouth to argue, and then thought better of it.

“Yes Ma’am.” He muttered, biting his lip and looking up at the ceiling, just above her face. She hit his ass again, harder, and he lurched forward a few inches at the force, pressing up against her.

“Look at me when I’m talking to you.” She whispered, almost growled in his ear. He did was he was told, some perverse sort of smile on his quickly reddening face as they met eyes. He understood now, what she was doing.

“Yes Ma’am. Of course Ma’am.”

She could feel him half-hard against her stomach now, feel his heart beating fast through his open, overstarched shirt. She knocked his arms off of her and grabbed his face, which had just the hint of stubble after the marathon congress session, so hard little red dots from her fingers appeared on his skin.

“That’s what you are, isn’t it? A Washinton prostitute. Just a…” She sneered, shaking her head, trying to ignore how wet she was growing under her dress. She clenched her thighs together tightly - she wanted - she  _had_ to make this last. “..a fucking government whore.”

Dan blinked, not giving away clues of how he felt about her words, other than the pink flush that was gradually creeping to his neck and ears too. She pinched the side of his face. “Aren’t you?”

“Y…yes Ma’am.” He seemed to be going fuzzy, distracted by the itty bit of pain.  _What a fucking baby_. 

She sat up straighter, causing him to slide down her legs a little. She bit her cheek to keep from humming as she reached out and dragged him back into place by his lapel, using all her willpower not to slide her other hand down to her panties, which were growing sticky at an embarrassingly quick rate. She wasn’t the one who was supposed to be embarrassed right now. She spanked him again, so hard her hand stung. He actually flinched. A thin, spiky sort of thrill rose up in her stomach.

“ _Yes Ma'am_ , you’re  _what_? Use those big fucking words of yours Dan.”

His brown eyes fluttered, heavy hooded as he shifted, craning his neck in some absurd attempt to seem dignified. “Um…a whore, Ma’am. I'm a whore.”

“Fucking yeah you are.” Her own face was feeling hot, and she was quickly losing the resolve to care if it showed. Her eyebrows arched as she kissed him again, hard and clumsy and rough. His hands starting raking through her hair and she pulled him off her again, tightly holding one of his wrists in each hand, forced above his head like a surrender. His lips red from the pressure.

“That’s how you make up for all your fuck ups, isn’t it?” She hissed. She’d heard the rumors, how Dan was something of the West Wing bicycle - he’d dated Amy, Senator Hallowes' daughter, half the last POTUS’ staff - there were even rumblings that he had slept with Jonah Ryan, years ago, at the inaugural ball. “You think you can just say whatever you want and then take off your shirt and you’ll get off?”

He glanced down at her, at the way she was fidgeting beneath him. He ran his hand through his hair, no where near as frizzy as her own, eyes bright, like he wasn’t half-naked on his boss’ lap. “That’s the plan.”

The hand that wasn’t in his hair snaked under the hem of her dress, in between her legs, his fingers slipping into her underwear. His erection only got harder when he felt how soaked she was. Fuck. She grabbed his neck, jerking him forward like a dog on the leash.

"Ah-ah-ah." She said shaking her head with a frazzled heat. “Stop fucking around, just do it."

He smiled again, almost beamed, bunching her dress up at her thighs and pushing down her underwear. God, it was pathetic how much he wanted to please her. She almost told him so, but before she could open her mouth he yanked down the front of those stupidly tight briefs and pushed into her. 

Ow.  _Ow._ Why has she said to _just do it_? Dan shoving himself inside her without any sort of warm up  _fucking hurt_ , but she'd wanted to see if he would, what lengths he'd go to to be liked. The answer was becoming more and more obvious. 

"Jesus!" He rocked inside her and she buried her head in the side of his neck, gripping both of his shoulders hard with her bony fingers.

“You’re a slut, Dan. A goddamn fuck-up and a little slut.”

“Yes Ma’am.” He mumbled into her ear, grunting a little as he began to fuck her in earnest. In and out and in and out and it didn't hurt so much now and he was so warm, almost too warm, like he had a fever, like he was going to combust right there on her lap, and she didn't care, it was her birthday and she controlled everything, the world was at her feet, and oh-oh-sweet-fucking-Christ-

Dan came just before her, shuddering like a car running out of gas, his body turning to dead weight, falling against her chest, his hair and face damp with sweat and he breathed hard, staring out at the darkened South Lawn.

“Fuck.” She said to his shoulder. She could feel him nodding against the side of her ear.

"Wow...Jesus, Selina that was-"

She peeled her face off of him. "What did you just call me?” 

Dan's eyes widened a little as he peeled himself off her chest, leaning back with his ass on her knees. "Ma'am. Sorry. That was amazing,  _Ma'am_."

She was so tired, her limbs feeling a little shaky and gelatinous. She smoothed down her hair. "Yeah, that's what I thought."

There was a knock on the door, almost simultaneous with a buzz from Sue.

_"Ma'am, Gary is-"_

"Ma'am, Mike is dealing with the press, I really think you need to go to sleep."

She sighed and rolled her eyes, Dan letting out a tiny scoff of his own, already slipping back into his hard shell. Dan Egan, the Ice Man, who  _definitely_  wasn’t scared of women or confrontation or getting in trouble.

"I'm fine, Gary."

"Okay, well I have some tea that I'm bringing in."

"N-Jesus, get down!" She hissed, stretching out her legs so Dan almost fell off them. He sunk to the ground, his flush returning, and ducked under the desk just as Gary swung open the door. Selina pushed her chair in so the desk dug into her stomach and Gary couldn’t see her panties hanging around her knees. It might kill the man.

"Hey, Dana said this stuff is really good for calming your nerves and-“

She felt an ear, soft hair brush by the side of her knee. A hot chin nuzzling in between her legs, and suddenly-there was _tongue._

"Fuck!”

Gary frowned. "Ma'am?"

She swallowed, using every ounce of self control not to look down, not to do something undignified like moan in front of her fucking bag man. She pressed her fist onto the top of the desk, almost hard enough to qualify as a slam.

"Fuck, just...yeah, go make me the tea."

Gary's face lit up as he stood. Selina clenched her legs together, pressing her thighs on either side of Dan's head. 

"Oh, you're gonna pay for this." She murmured through set teeth. There was as slight twitch as Dan used his mouth to speak for a change, in a voice that was some depraved combination of eager and smug and lustful.

"Yes Ma'am."


End file.
